Quote by St. Augustine |
Last fall, Merrimack College's onstagers put on the play Our Town. I do not know if you remember, but in the final act of the play, the main character Emily Webb says good-bye to all the things she will miss about life in her hometown Grover's Corners. Her speech went like this:
"Good-by, Good-by, world. Good-by, Grover's Corners? Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking? and Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths? and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you."
Using Ms. Webb's good-bye speech as inspiration, I have drafted my own two good-bye speeches about Madrid. Can you guess which one is the sarcastic version?
Goodbye, Goodbye, Spain. Goodbye, Madrid. Croquetas, patatas bravas and tortilla espanola. Good bye to Professor Jose
Maria Marco’s laugh. And 1 euro
Wednesdays at Montiditos. And last minute day/weekend
trips to different cities. And El Tigre
and Dubliners. Goodbye to Cube-ims and
Moorish Architecture. And playing the
guessing game on the Metro of who will get off at Chueca? And bars and clubs closing late. And Barclays, ha ha ha. And the Santa Claus guys running away from La
Policia. Goodbye, goodbye Claudio,
Cristina Martin and Valentine. And the clean metro, and hearing “la proxima
parada and train bound for”. Goodbye 24
hour pizza, 1 euro wine, and chocolate con churros. And “cultural experiences”. And Julio, may he rest in peace. And not getting carded, not tipping and not
paying for gas. And free tapas with
drinks. Goodbye, goodbye to pregaming
with Don Simon, chiptos gratis, and dark hot chocolate. And shoes, accents, gelato, and well more shoes. And Corte Ingles and hooka bars. Goodbye to Sangria and Mojitos. And our 5
month vacation. Oh, Madrid, you’re too
wonderful for anyone to realize you.
And now for the second....
Goodbye, Goodbye, Spain. Goodbye, Madrid. Mahou, San Miguel and Alhambra. Goodbye to paying 5 cents for bags at the
supermercado. And asking para la cuenta.
And no toilet paper, soap or hand dryers in bathrooms. Goodbye to aggressive, creepy Spanish
men. And paying $6 for peanut
butter. And the prostitutes on Calle de Montera. And Patricia, the bitchy maid lady and
Rob? Goodbye, goodbye to “chicas 2
bebidas para 10 euros”. And having to
manually open the metro doors and shops closed for siesta hour. And All You Can Eat, Hide My Ass and
Movistar. And paying for water at restaurants. Goodbye to RyanAir and 8 hour bus rides. And the
gypsies and compro oro men. And
walking on cobblestone sidewalks in heals and dressing up
for class every day. And the obnoxiously
loud Spanish girls at dinner. And
huelgas, hostels and the euro. Goodbye,
goodbye to ceilings collapsing, barking pugs, and moldy showers. And the cleaning/laundry service at the
residence. And ATM foreign transaction
fees. And pickpocketing on the metro and
the hour commute to Comillas. Goodbye to
buying an Abono. And plug adapters,
Spanish breakfast and milk that isn’t refrigerated, gross. And
Current International Issues. And using
Skype. And the squeaky things the men have in their mouths around Sol. And most
importantly, playing cards with Mariah. Oh,
Spain, you’re too wonderful for anyone to realize you.